Have You Written Your Letter of Intent?

Note: The following article was authored by Diann Jones and appeared under the name “Insure Your Child’s  Future With a Letter of Intent” in the July 2005 issue of Curious Parents magazine.
 

When you leave your children at home with a babysitter or respite provider, you probably leave a note on your refrigerator containing your whereabouts, your child’s medication schedule, doctors' names and emergency phone numbers.  However, if you met with an early and untimely demise, how could you make sure your hopes, dreams, goals and wishes for your child or adult dependent with a disability were carried out?

One method is to create a “Letter of Intent.”  I like to think of this document as being able to have an angel on the shoulder of the next caregiver in line for your son or daughter. As a routine part of the intake process, I share a template with other parents to create this document and teach families how to complete it.

When parents are creating a Letter of Intent for a transitioning teenager or adult with disabilities, I recommend they involve the person for whom they are planning if he or she has the cognitive ability to participate in this process.  You might want to approach the subject by asking, “If Mom and Dad went on a one month vacation, what would you want to do each day?”  Or maybe more importantly, “What wouldn’t you want to do?”  Have your son or daughter elaborate on their responses by asking open-ended questions.  You might then want to shift the conversation to a discussion pertaining to your child’s future.  This is person-centered planning at its finest! 

As a parent, I can personally tell you that I’ve had many forms of this document for my teenage daughter over the past several years – each one created with bottomless cups of hot tea and boxes of tissues nearby.  It is not an easy process, but it’s the most beautiful and thoughtful document you could ever create for your child.  As someone with a number of years of experience at navigating the mental health system and obtaining appropriate services for my daughter, I’ve made sure nothing would be left to chance should something happen to me and her father prematurely.  I have very specific thoughts on how and where my daughter should receive the support that she needs.  Through my Letter of Intent, I have made sure our other family members understand our position on the very important issues that affect her.

Think about it for a minute.  Today, how could someone properly care and advocate for your child if you were no longer here?  Answering that question in your Letter of Intent will place it in the proper perspective.   This letter, by the way, should be done on an annual basis, as our children’s needs and abilities are forever changing.  Perhaps you’ll decide to do this when your child’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) is completed each year. 

Once your Letter of Intent is finished, you'll want to share your vision for your child with the person(s) you would like to serve as backup guardian for your child.  After all, they may not know exactly what it means to be an advocate for your son or daughter.

During the discussion of your Letter of Intent, you will most likely be asked a lot of questions – and that’s great!  Not everyone speaks the same language of acronyms that we do as parents.  You will probably be asked questions such as, “What do you mean by OT, PT, Speech, and IEP?”  What a great opportunity to have them become a member of your child’s next IEP team as another advocate in the room for your child.  That way, they can truly experience what you’ve asked of them.

After reviewing your Letter of Intent, if the person decides he or she can not do all of the wonderful things you do as a parent for your child, that’s all right.  Isn’t it better to know that now instead of when it may be too late?  Most likely, however, they will be honored to be your child’s backup guardian and extremely pleased that you took the time and energy to share this with them.  At that point, you'll know you have the right person to love, properly care and advocate for your son, daughter, or family member with a disability.  This person should be then named in your Will as the nominated guardian for your child.  Neither Nationwide nor is representatives provide tax or legal advice. Your clients should consult with their attorney or tax advisor for answers to their specific questions.

While a Letter of Intent is not a legal document or legally binding, you should have it notarized and witnessed by two disinterested parties.  It should then be kept with your other important papers.  And, lest I forget, if you have other minor children without disabilities, make sure to develop a Letter of Intent for them, as well - going through the same process. 

If you have not yet written a Letter of Intent and would like some guidance, please feel free to contact me.  I will be happy to arrange an intake meeting with you to discuss this planning tool, provide you with a template in booklet format so you may create one, and assist you with planning for a lifetime of quality care for your son or daughter with a disability.